Notes to A Teen

This morning I wrote notes to two of my kids.  Though I was tempted to rush to the next task on my list, I was reminded that the years are quickly fading, and today they needed to hear a few things.

They needed to hear I’m proud of them.   There are things my husband and I have recently noted in their character, and they needed to know we see it.  It’s a lesson I learned from parenting my first born through her teen years.  I learned what she craved more than anything was to know we were proud of her.  I thought she knew it, but she needed to hear it.

They needed to be encouraged in the little things.  One of our kids has persevered in a situation that would have been easy to bail out of.  That’s not easy for a teenager.  I wanted

Imagethis child to know the value God’s word places on perseverance.  “…Because we know suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope.”  Romans 5:3-4.

They needed to know we see them as individuals.  When I step back and think about dialogue I have with my teens in an average day, it often consists of telling them what to do, what not to do, or discussing surface events in life.  In the teen world when peers are more important than parents, kids need to know we see who they are becoming as individuals, and that we affirm who they are.  Kids need to know their parents know them even if we don’t spend a lot of time engaging with each other during this stage.

They need to know home is still safe for them.  Boys really don’t want mushy discussions with mom, but in a note, I can communicate things that are awkward if said in person.  Sharing things in writing allows doors to open for future conversations and gives them an underlying sense of security that we understand their world.   There’s security for a child in knowing that parents understand things even if we don’t know all the details of their life. Home needs to be safe and secure like it was when they were small.

While I didn’t get letters written to each child today, the other two will have their time.  While texting has perks, there’s something about words on a page from Mom that can be tucked away when needed in the future.  I know.  I’ve got my own storage box that I pull out every once in a while when I need to hear these things, too.

(Thanks, Mom.)


  1. Hi Brenda,
    My other comment got lost. Maybe it went to your spam folder, I don’t know why wordpress does that.

    Anyway, I hope this one goes through. I really want to leave a comment to let you know how much this post ministered to me. It’s been a jampacked month, but now I am thankful for two weeks of quiet away from my home city. Grateful to be able to visit my old blog friends like you, and a few others.

    There is so much life and truth to be received from the words you write in your blog. Handwritten letters with words of affirmation do so much to give a message of hope in the hearts of our children. I look forward to writing my grown up married sons very soon.

    I also scrolled down a bit and read about your precious Doggie Woggie and the baseball cup. I am a dog lover myself, so stories like these warm my heart.

    I also purposely dropped by here to give you a Thanksgiving message. I thank God for you.


  2. Funny… I used to write little notes to my daughter all the time, and reading this made me realize I haven’t done that in quite awhile… I ‘tell’ her these things regularly but you are right when you say how important it is to get it down on the page. Thanks for reminding me!

  3. Wow… this brought tears to my eyes. You are right on the money with this… It always made a huge difference in my life when my father would tell me he was proud of me… still does. What a special thing to share with your children, though they may not say it, inside this will make them feel special, loved and secure. You are a good mama! Blessings! Kristen

  4. Amen…good, good advice I just wrote blessings cards to all my children which we share with them on Thanksgiving…and don’t we all need to see written words of encouragement? Thanks for reminding me and for prompting my heart to write more often…I do text my adult kids words of encouragement a lot, but it is better on paper

  5. Hi Brenda, I have been wanting to write letters to my teens for a while and i have been putting it off because you hear of these people that write letters and then die (too many bad movies I think) but whether I write them or not my time is in God’s hands so there is no loss to me, only gain in my relationship with them so you have inspired me to write and soon. Thank you
    God bless

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