You can ask my children what my husband and I fight over. They will tell you: cars and fences.
Recently, we’ve had not-seeing-eye-to-eye discussions over cars. We drive cars we can afford. They are older and are purchased at no-debt cost. That’s not the problem. The problem is our taste when we have to buy one.
Our choice in cars mirrors our personalities.
My husband and I are as different as night and day. He’s like a Buick, steady, solid, dependable, comfortable. He loves cars just like this. Ones that don’t stand out in a crowd. It drives me crazy.
While I value solid and dependable, if I’m going to drive something, I want something sporty, sleek, and not-so-comfortable looking. Which probably explains why I wear high heels and play basketball against fifth grade girls even if I end up in a knee-brace. I like adventure, movement, living outside-the-box. I don’t want to be purely comfortable and solid until I can’t move anymore.
So when a Mustang married a Buick, how do you compromise?
In twenty-three years of marriage, I’ve learned compromise. My Big Fat Greek Wedding describes the different worlds that collided when I married Mr. Buick. This is what I’ve learned along the way.
- Compromise balances extremes, smoothing rough edges and making weak edges strong, making a better, more complete unit.
- Compromise brings out the best of both parties, making each one’s differences poignant, yet accepted.
- Compromise speaks love to your children, modeling tools of a healthy relationship.
- Compromise models strength. Strength of character, strength in setting boundaries.
- Compromise is selflessness without giving up dignity.
- Compromise requires courage. It requires giving up complete control and trusting the other party.
While compromising over cars is not a big deal, when it happens, it builds my confidence and trust in my husband, and his in me. It strengthens the foundation of our marriage in times when big compromises become deal makers or breakers. It gives voice to biblical leadership that displays partnership, not a dictatorship. It gives a gift to our children that we are committed to each other and our marriage, not to self and our rights.
So, what does compromise look like when Mustang marries a Buick?
It means there are two Buicks in the driveway, a Honda in the garage, and a minivan for sale.
But you’ll only see me driving the Honda. High heals, knee brace, and all.
And as for the fences? There’s a picket fence in front of our garden.
But that’s another story.
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